Sariel V (sarielv) wrote,
Sariel V
sarielv

Nightmares about the old place

For a while now I've been having recurring dreams about Sil------- where I used to work. While the dreams have been different, the theme is the same. I'm trying to work there and with my new employer, who for some reason is transplanted to Indy. I continually fear repercussions or being discovered, being fired from one or the other, or just running myself into the ground.

I suppose this is because I haven't yet made a clean break of it. I was laid off from Sil shortly before I interviewed, which I never told my current employer because I didn't want them to lowball my offer if I got it. As far as Sil knows, I'm ready to come back to work any time.

I can't stress how much I love this new job. Top to bottom. it's a better place. Cleaner, far less dangerous, agreeable people, more fun to work. I'm not going back to Sil; I decided that ages ago. So what am I still stressing out about in my dreams?

Last night's was the first time it changed. After stressing out about trying to maintain two jobs, I told my Sil supervisor I quit. No 2 week notice, no 'I'll fill in tonight', just a 'Sorry to leave you in a lurch'. My coworkers there all applauded and I hugged Joe L. on the way out. I felt sad and happy at the same time. If that isn't a fantasy, I don't what is.
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new, better jobs are a very good thing (congrats!!!). you're probably having nightmares about the old place because it was such a bad, toxic environment that it takes some time to get those bad feelings out of your system. also, since you know they think you're ready to come back to work any time, there's still almost a... lack of closure. maybe last night's will provide the mental resolution to get it out of your nightlife :)

personally, my nightmares often take place at familiar places that i haven't been in a long time (including school) - tho typically in my nightmares, the familiar place is just the backdrop and the nightmare doesn't have that much to do with the actual location.
My dreams often take place in locales that are an amalgam of my old home, the trailer I spent about 4 years in as a kid, elementary and high school, and my grandparents homes. I suppose this makes sense, but it'd be nice to get out once in a while ;D